Settled Minds

Okay, so here's what's happened. Ben and I are going to be friends. This is going to be awesome, because he's a lot of fun, in a pedantic sort of way.

But Andy and I are not. Because we are now an item.

I finished Lovecraft. Moving on.

Fingerless Gloves

Life is interesting. Second dates with both Ben and Andy. I'm leaning toward Andy.

Ben's really cool. But I think we're pretty incompatible in some ways. So that's the way it goes. We'd be good friends, because then it'd be easier to call him on his bullshit.

But there's still a guy to go. So whatever. Still working on Lovecraft.

H. P. Lovecraft

There's little better than a scary story. So I don't mind reading Lovecraft. I picked up The Dream Cycle at the library today.

But I'm getting a little frustrated. Ben's all about integrating me into his life, not the other way around. For God's sake, he won't watch Dexter, but wants me to watch Fringe and Supernatural. I need to read Lovecraft, and get interested in comic books. He also wants to drag me back into Kingdom of Loathing, just when I've been free of it for a while -- it's a huge time-sink.

But there's just something about him that makes me want to do this for him. I know I wouldn't do this for most other people. What the hell is wrong with me?

Men Again

Okay, so now it's a first date with Andy on Friday, an overnight West Wing and Settlers of Catan marathon with Ben and his friends on Saturday-Sunday, and a first date with Chris on Tuesday. And a German man who is most likely in love with me.

What the hell is going on with my life?! It's like, as the economy takes away employment opportunities for me, I gain in boyfriend material. And they're all employed. That's a freakin' miracle.

In other news, I found two brochures in the BHG collection that have never been cataloged before. Hooray!

Men

Why is it that, after a year and a half of no men in my life, I've managed to score two first dates in one week? I don't get it.

I'm really wishing Andy was a little quicker on the uptake -- although I'm at fault here, too. I could have asked. Because last night I had a date with Ben, and I really like him, too. He'd be the third Ben I've dated. Anyway, I really am scared. I have no idea what to do.

Jesus I'm whiny. Gotta admit, this is a situation that a lot of women would take advantage of. But I really don't want to hurt either of them at this point.

I suck.

In related news, Ben let me watch the second season of The Venture Brothers, and we watched his brand spankin' new copy of The Dark Knight. It was an awesome time. Except for trying to get me to eat salami. No salami.

Plus, he lent me Watchmen. I'm about half through it now.

*****

Okay, here's the crux of the issue. Ben's not going anywhere soon. Andy's looking for jobs all over the country, and he's most likely going to be gone after February. Which do I choose? I think I have a better connection with Andy, but I can't just up and move with him (and I don't think he'd expect that). Hell, he's possibly moving to Arkansas. ARKANSAS. The Bill Clinton Library and Archives. Anyway, I want to keep in touch with him, but what am I supposed to do when he moves? I want to have someone in my life.

*****

Okay, the offensiveness is intentional. But look at my great Sweetest Day ring! It lends a touch of class when I flip off stupid drivers.

One Particular German Man

I once told

One particular German man

That he sold himself short
And that
He was a good guy
It took him
A long time to respond
And I was afraid
I had embarrassed him
He said he's just shy
I know what that is
The point has come
Where I don't want
To live a life
In which my goodness
My decency
My humanity
Isn't recognized
And he deserves the same

Reproductive Rights

I'm about two-thirds of the way through Three Generations, No Imbeciles. There's a sentence in here that struck me. Oliver Wendell Holmes, Jr., who wrote the decision in favor of sterilizing those whom society has deemed unsavory for one reason or another, is responding to the backlash from the Catholic community:

Even before his opinion was complete, Holmes wrote to Harold Laski that "the religious are astir." (p.179)

I thought to myself, but the religious are right. And it dawned on me that I need to be more open, because I usually assume that religious = backwards = fundamentalist = hypocritical = narrowminded = etc., etc., etc. I need to grow up. Even though I think Catholics are on the wrong side of reproductive rights today doesn't mean that they have always been wrong on the subject (at least, from my standpoint). Allies and common ground can be found everywhere. You just have to work to find it sometimes. Besides all the interesting stuff I'm learning about how dangerously corrupt the medical and legal systems in this country can be, the take-away practical message for me is that you can get along and work with almost anybody, if you put in the work to find what you share as sacred and dear.

*****

Finished with Three Generations, No Imbeciles. Here's the review:

A superb book much wider in scope than one would suspect from the title. This really covers almost all of the eugenics movement in the US from the late nineteenth century to today. A little heavy on legal minutiae, but really good.